Have you ever wondered why gazing at a waterfall brings such bliss and calmness to our minds? It’s because even though it’s a magnificent display of falling water that might intimidate some, it gracefully descends and touches the ground, imparting a sense of humility! When a highly experienced individual seasoned with life consequences, dilemmas, and learning from good and not-so-good decisions of life comes down at the level of the mentee to simplify something, that’s how the art of mentorship reflects the waterfall.
Here I am reflecting on my personal journey as a mentee under the guidance of various esteemed individuals, each an expert in their own field. Each of them has left an indelible mark on my character and development. Whether it was the retired bureaucrat who mentored me during my Civil Services preparation, the experienced industry professional as my Programme mentor during my MBA, or my personal life mentor, who has been like a father figure to me, guiding me through life’s choices and spiritual growth.
Whether it was instilling discipline, providing constructive criticism, or expressing appreciation, they have collectively molded me into a better, more enriched version of myself. I think this is where a fine difference between mentorship and coaching lies. While coaching is just task or outcome-driven, mentorship is more personalized and overall growth-oriented.
One thing I have also learned in the process is that sometimes it is also required to
mentor your mentor to mentor you better!😀
These mentors are often older and have busy schedules, leading to a cultural gap between them and their mentees. Just like going to a doctor – to get the right medicine, we need to describe our symptoms accurately. Similarly, being an ideal mentee involves asking precise questions, being honest about our assumptions and dilemmas, doing our homework first before knocking on their doors, and setting clear expectations. Effective communication with mentors is key and helps every time.
For instance, certain mentors set strict deadlines and established routines for practicing skills, while others preferred receiving a briefing email prior to the meetings to discuss a problem statement. Some provided a guiding framework, while others offered clear, concrete directions for my next steps. This kind of adjustment to each other’s learning and preaching style is truly an art.
I’ve also realised that over time this actually becomes a reciprocal process. Senior leaders found themselves reflecting deeply on why they do what they do, how they react, who they lean on to, and what yields outcomes…all of this just to answer my constant probing questions. Oftentimes senior leaders are all constantly preoccupied with day-to-day decisions, with little mindshare to step back and reflect. Mentorship of a younger individual thus proves helpful to them as well!
People often say, “Get a mentor and you will excel,” but it actually works the other way around: “Excel and you will get a mentor.” Why I say this is that often asking a relative acquaintance to become your mentor becomes an instant turn-off. Mentorships develop naturally over time through subtle connections felt by both parties. Sometimes, mentors notice young individuals with potential and a spark that can be nurtured, and they genuinely want to contribute to their growth story. That’s why the best mentorship journeys are those where even the word “mentor” doesn’t even come up; instead, the bond of shared wisdom just flows effortlessly.
In a world that values self-learning, and where knowledge is readily available from various sources like YouTube, networking platforms, and blogs, including mine, I still hold a strong belief in the traditional “Guru Shishya Parampara” (Teacher-Disciple Reverence). Despite having access to numerous resources, a guru’s ability to simplify knowledge that goes beyond the wealth of information a mentee may be able to process will simply spill the magic. 🧡
